Loving me for Me.

Have you ever heard of anyone being too sober in your life?
Did you ever wish you were drunk sometimes?
Sadly, I don't drink...
MUCH...

Well, if you haven't,
Here's your FIRST.

My aunties always said i had regular mood swings when i was young.
I never realized it, never believed it, kept denying it,
Until recently i found out, yeah... I do have them, and...
They're bad! :S

Only a few hours ago,
When i was in gramp's place,
I was feeling all jovial and excited!
Was even quite helpful with the dishes and the errands.

Totally enjoyed speaking to granddad,
Although i did feel a bit sad seeing him so frail
And still battling the blardy infections and gout!
Yet, i was silently praying...

Thinking about tomorrow,
And knowing me, I should be sleepless tonight!
But surprisingly now,
I feel numb, nothing but numb inside!

I wonder why?
Why why why?!
Why does this mood swing pop out!
From no where it just creeps up on me,
And blows me away!
Leaving me to deal with this solemn state now!

Ahh!! Perhaps i will delete this post someday...
For fear others might know and hate me for this flaw of mine.
Or will they accept me?
I'll never know...

But hey,
More self talk and i would be over it!
That's what i usually do,
And hope it works!
Haha... I'm pretty unpredictable, unfortunately...

Alright then, think straight!
What have i done recently that will make me happy of myself??
Hmm.....

Preparing EVERYTHING for tomorrow yesterday? XD
This includes what i'm gonna wear...
What i should bring - pencil case, jacket, forms, mp3, deodorant...
What else? Ahh! My tumbler and yes, MYSELF. XP

I sometimes can't believe what an impulsive person i am!
Think of something, and off i go, its done!
Next second, a slacker!
Things i have not done and was supposed to do,
My brain says,"Nahh TOMORROW!"
My heart says,"Yeahh You'll prolly regret not doing it now tomorrow!"

But then, MIND OVER MATTER! XD
And here comes my good friend, Ms Procrastination!

I was tired after coming back from the induction that day...
Was it because i was driving?
Or was it because i was using more energy on socializing
And focusing on what the lecturer was telling me?
Deep within, i am constantly worried...
Will my brain lapse and miss out something important?
I do tend to daydream ALOT. Oh No....

But okayh, back to where i left off.
I made myself a bracelet to match my outfit this morning (around 3am!)
Hahaha... Why so long you ask?
Because i was experimenting. X)
Eventhough i've done it once before,
But it was pretty tricky,
And i struggled, but persevered! :D