Sitting on a fence, people who do are usually stuck with a difficult decision to make.
Weighing the pros and cons of their options, it is normal to see them linger in indecision.
However, who could blame them if both options vary vastly from each other,
And that choosing one of the two would mean losing something that was once so dear to them?
For the past 4 days, i have been sitting on a fence.
Deliberating and considering every single detail which contributes to my happiness and well being. It was an arduous process in which many a times, i found my mind drifting off into space, avoiding the voyage back to reality. This state would probably be more commonly known as - emo.
It is always difficult to decide what to keep or leave behind in ones life.
Never is it an easy decision to consciously want to remove them from your journey,
Especially when the thing potentially being removed has feelings and tears too.
I never intend on hurting anyone.
I always felt the utmost joy when i take action for the things i believe would make people happy or grateful. Even simple things like sharing lunch with a new friend, or switching off a leaking tap just to help save water, or even offering a piece of tissue to a complete stranger who is having flu. Yeap, i find joy in doing all things similar to this.
Yet, it is so difficult for me to just normally love a person.
Feels like the world around me has changed tremendously.
People who used to be close suddenly felt they had a gap and started moving on.
Things that i previously found exciting and awesome, suddenly has become not as they were before. Gradually, from a once light hearted soul; has become something filled with demands and expectations. Before i knew it, i have become greedy and selfish. Worse than the green monster beneath my bed. What am i to do?
I hurt for not getting what i hope and want.
I reach out for something that i might never get.
I cry because the reasons i love myself for has dimmed as i allowed my heart to be vulnerable and risked.
Everyone knows love is a gamble.
But does everyone throw in their last chip at a casino table if they have no assurance that they will win back some profit??
The answer is NO, not many people would.
Yet, gullible as i am at this point, i have done so.
Once again, with no insurance or assurance,
I took the plunge. No looking back at the cuts that struck my heart so deeply before.
No looking back at the helpless, pathetic state i have once been because of you.
I choose to trust you this one final time.
Like a newly hatched baby bird about to leave its nest for the first time, I dive into the unknown, with no guarantee for my survival or end for the very last time.
Weighing the pros and cons of their options, it is normal to see them linger in indecision.
However, who could blame them if both options vary vastly from each other,
And that choosing one of the two would mean losing something that was once so dear to them?
For the past 4 days, i have been sitting on a fence.
Deliberating and considering every single detail which contributes to my happiness and well being. It was an arduous process in which many a times, i found my mind drifting off into space, avoiding the voyage back to reality. This state would probably be more commonly known as - emo.
It is always difficult to decide what to keep or leave behind in ones life.
Never is it an easy decision to consciously want to remove them from your journey,
Especially when the thing potentially being removed has feelings and tears too.
I never intend on hurting anyone.
I always felt the utmost joy when i take action for the things i believe would make people happy or grateful. Even simple things like sharing lunch with a new friend, or switching off a leaking tap just to help save water, or even offering a piece of tissue to a complete stranger who is having flu. Yeap, i find joy in doing all things similar to this.
Yet, it is so difficult for me to just normally love a person.
Feels like the world around me has changed tremendously.
People who used to be close suddenly felt they had a gap and started moving on.
Things that i previously found exciting and awesome, suddenly has become not as they were before. Gradually, from a once light hearted soul; has become something filled with demands and expectations. Before i knew it, i have become greedy and selfish. Worse than the green monster beneath my bed. What am i to do?
I hurt for not getting what i hope and want.
I reach out for something that i might never get.
I cry because the reasons i love myself for has dimmed as i allowed my heart to be vulnerable and risked.
Everyone knows love is a gamble.
But does everyone throw in their last chip at a casino table if they have no assurance that they will win back some profit??
The answer is NO, not many people would.
Yet, gullible as i am at this point, i have done so.
Once again, with no insurance or assurance,
I took the plunge. No looking back at the cuts that struck my heart so deeply before.
No looking back at the helpless, pathetic state i have once been because of you.
I choose to trust you this one final time.
Like a newly hatched baby bird about to leave its nest for the first time, I dive into the unknown, with no guarantee for my survival or end for the very last time.
