Today just sort of started for me. Unlike most of the other days, i find myself home alone. Not that i don't enjoy my current solitude, but the sudden silence of the house, and today's colder than usual weather has given me time to think over certain things.
A few days now i wanted to blog. But somehow, every time I'm almost all ready to, something distracts me! XD!! I know right? Irritating as things abrupt my line of thought. Nonetheless, now almost nestled up in my bedroom in this empty house, i find myself thinking about A LOT of random things. Hehe...
I was watching TV since morning. Made my own "instant lunch", and there i was, glued to the screens, watching Micheal Jackson on Channel V. Sigh... I didn't realise how much his death has affected me. I felt somewhat sad, yet at the same time, in admiration of this talented, troubled man. His life, his glory, his fans. Shit he was faced with, he endured. Adoration he was engulfed in, he remained humble, humane.
Although i admit, i felt prejudice and quite disgusted towards him when he was first accused of being pedophilic towards children. Suits were filed, and his integrity and moral challenged. Someone of his stature, well known for his contributions to the less fortunate, and an educator of peace to the world. A person who has touched and aided so many lives all around the world, being sued for such a sinful act. I wonder how his fans felt when they first heard this.
For me, i was never much of a fan. Despite this, constant news of his life constantly buzzed around due to his prominence in his industry. However, as i think now, i realize that there was a reason for my bias presumption which was - hes guilty, of his charge.
One of his many hit songs, Black or White was brilliant! Needless to say, millions admired him for his bold confidence and ability to accept himself for who he was, and it didn't matter if he was black, everyone is a SOMEONE. That was what his song resonated, giving encouragement to those whose esteem was low and who felt insignificant.
Me, being one who was blown away by such deep meaning even at my then young age, was feeling shocked and betrayed when he announced later that he was going for a full body plastic surgery to become white. He was willing to even risk losing his life for the new make-over. All for what? For false reassurance, to fill in and bury all insecurity he felt as a black man. And what did this mean? Hypocrisy for ALL he meant in his song. Besides this, i could not look at him anymore. His face, pale and artificial, resembled the devil to me. I was terrified and very grossed out.
What led me to believe he could have assaulted a child, such an atrocious act, was solely due to this. That as kind and caring as he seemed, it could all have been an ACT, for publicity. I'm sure this turned many of his fans away from him, but yes, you couldn't blame them for thinking what i think too. The possibility is there. THAT, we need consider.
So finally the suit was over, and Micheal was acquitted. He was in shambles. Some of his fans were relieved, some like me, were still unsure. Then he gone quiet for a while, and then later it was known he was in serious debt. Helter skelter, lots more drama there.
Anyway, when the day came suddenly of his death, I'm sure to say, it was quite UNBELIEVABLE to the world. The news and confirmation of the death of The Prince of Pop spread like wild fire, and dramatic, though not ridiculous attempts of commemorating his life were compiled. And well, Malaysian enough, the pasar malams were already exploiting his death by selling MJ's pirated compiled albums and selling them for RM5 extra than the usual prices of song cds! Every radio station were playing his songs... One after another... Memories of his prime were suddenly re-lived and well, obvious devastation was inevitable to more than half of the world. And ironically, MJ's albums were selling like hotcakes once again. Every one who wanted a piece of him sprinted to the stores and sold out signs were put everywhere. This probably made him richer than he was for many years when he was alive.
The whole point of all this to me is, no matter what or who i will become in this life, it is more than crucial to know who I truly am myself. The world will constantly judge me. But it is my own choice to decide who will affect me and who won't. Life is not always about the world. Sometimes, being just me i guess, is good enough. Perhaps just with this, one day, people might come to remember me when i'm long gone. : )
Cheers~ ^_^
A few days now i wanted to blog. But somehow, every time I'm almost all ready to, something distracts me! XD!! I know right? Irritating as things abrupt my line of thought. Nonetheless, now almost nestled up in my bedroom in this empty house, i find myself thinking about A LOT of random things. Hehe...
I was watching TV since morning. Made my own "instant lunch", and there i was, glued to the screens, watching Micheal Jackson on Channel V. Sigh... I didn't realise how much his death has affected me. I felt somewhat sad, yet at the same time, in admiration of this talented, troubled man. His life, his glory, his fans. Shit he was faced with, he endured. Adoration he was engulfed in, he remained humble, humane.
Although i admit, i felt prejudice and quite disgusted towards him when he was first accused of being pedophilic towards children. Suits were filed, and his integrity and moral challenged. Someone of his stature, well known for his contributions to the less fortunate, and an educator of peace to the world. A person who has touched and aided so many lives all around the world, being sued for such a sinful act. I wonder how his fans felt when they first heard this.
For me, i was never much of a fan. Despite this, constant news of his life constantly buzzed around due to his prominence in his industry. However, as i think now, i realize that there was a reason for my bias presumption which was - hes guilty, of his charge.
One of his many hit songs, Black or White was brilliant! Needless to say, millions admired him for his bold confidence and ability to accept himself for who he was, and it didn't matter if he was black, everyone is a SOMEONE. That was what his song resonated, giving encouragement to those whose esteem was low and who felt insignificant.
Me, being one who was blown away by such deep meaning even at my then young age, was feeling shocked and betrayed when he announced later that he was going for a full body plastic surgery to become white. He was willing to even risk losing his life for the new make-over. All for what? For false reassurance, to fill in and bury all insecurity he felt as a black man. And what did this mean? Hypocrisy for ALL he meant in his song. Besides this, i could not look at him anymore. His face, pale and artificial, resembled the devil to me. I was terrified and very grossed out.
What led me to believe he could have assaulted a child, such an atrocious act, was solely due to this. That as kind and caring as he seemed, it could all have been an ACT, for publicity. I'm sure this turned many of his fans away from him, but yes, you couldn't blame them for thinking what i think too. The possibility is there. THAT, we need consider.
So finally the suit was over, and Micheal was acquitted. He was in shambles. Some of his fans were relieved, some like me, were still unsure. Then he gone quiet for a while, and then later it was known he was in serious debt. Helter skelter, lots more drama there.
Anyway, when the day came suddenly of his death, I'm sure to say, it was quite UNBELIEVABLE to the world. The news and confirmation of the death of The Prince of Pop spread like wild fire, and dramatic, though not ridiculous attempts of commemorating his life were compiled. And well, Malaysian enough, the pasar malams were already exploiting his death by selling MJ's pirated compiled albums and selling them for RM5 extra than the usual prices of song cds! Every radio station were playing his songs... One after another... Memories of his prime were suddenly re-lived and well, obvious devastation was inevitable to more than half of the world. And ironically, MJ's albums were selling like hotcakes once again. Every one who wanted a piece of him sprinted to the stores and sold out signs were put everywhere. This probably made him richer than he was for many years when he was alive.
The whole point of all this to me is, no matter what or who i will become in this life, it is more than crucial to know who I truly am myself. The world will constantly judge me. But it is my own choice to decide who will affect me and who won't. Life is not always about the world. Sometimes, being just me i guess, is good enough. Perhaps just with this, one day, people might come to remember me when i'm long gone. : )
Cheers~ ^_^
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