之前发生过这么多这么多，我只能感谢你有过在我身边。我们的友情有怎么复杂都好，起码我当时能确认它是诚恳的。你觉得你被利用？怎么我却感到被取代？每一次约你都被拒绝。。。一次后，还好。第二次后，勉强还能接受。但过了第三次，我就得放弃了，对不对？对，我了解人有时候需要自己的空间，可是，读书都好，也是需要吃饭，对不对？？我也在苦读，也在烦恼。是有人和我说过，做错每样事情最好不错多过三次。。。因为过了三次后，那种失望是。。。伤感是。。。看到你能和其他人分享你的时间。看到你能和其她人一起读书，讨论问题。。。妒忌也好，小气也好，这都是因为在我心里中，你对我重要才会发现出这种感觉。你觉得被人遗忘，我觉得被人忽略。不是你静悄悄的离去，没人发现。而是你选择不联络，你选择要被动。我却已经没力气去推了。。。我累了。。。请原谅我这个。。。但我了解友情像爱情一样，双方都必要付出， 不是只是一方在在乎，挣扎。我不希望在你眼中你只看到这么薄的一幕。我对你的友情，从来没有过利用和企图。我只希望我们这次疏远后的空间，不会又是一场误会， 一场本来是缘分赠送给我们的礼物，而不明不睦的被奢侈掉。不想。< / 3
Posted by
zinrue
Life has been wonderful recently!! So many doors have opened to me since i closed the last one. : ) Everything has become less repetitive, less routinized. I love that my friends are absolutely spontaneous!!I am being reminded again and again how much i love them!!You know who you hawt chunks are!! ; ] What a wonderful way of starting a new year, no?? Although exams are around the corner, and i have big things to achieve this year,But someone told me before that as long as i don't lose sight of myself,Everything will continue to flow, if not in the direction i want it to,Just like a river, it never stops flowing, and i never stop swimming. ^_^Exciting!! What do i have before me now??Arrrhhhh!! I can't begin to tell you how totally ecstatic i am of my new love!! :D And meeting up with some of my past, i realize i actually did miss them!! :ONever nevertheless, may everything take its natural course to glory. ; ]Let all the good times be stagnant in memory lane and be remembered holistically within my heart, forever and always. 2011, BRING IT!! ^,^W
I love you are just words.You know you mean more. ^_^*~}i{~*
Posted by
zinrue
Still remembering the first day you were brought to my house,I was an excited five year old who couldn't resist to welcome you with a tremendous hug.How blurry eyed but not shy you were, we adored you instantly.How we decided your name was hilarious.All 4 of us wrote it on a white scrap, and drew lots. Finally, mum got her way and it was decided - Drama. : )Scruffy little thing you were, teeth not even fully grown.It was horrendous the first few nights with your whining howls.But we couldn't blame you, you must've been missing your own mom.In time you were practically queen of the house. I sneaked you in all the time and cuddled you on the sofa. Silently we would both dose off, with you comfortably in my arms.No one could understand our attachment and the secrets i told you then.However, health challenged me often at that age.I nearly had asthma and so, you were sent to stand guard outside.That didn't stop me from playing with you more outside though.Maybe that was how i started loving the outdoors more than in, it was you.Bath times were your greatest fear.I would trick you with bread or cookies just to get you out from under the car.You always fell for it and i always felt smuck about it after. X)Waiting for you to dry off, combing was a hassle.But you were a dainty one, always wanting to look pretty.Obediently, you would sit quietly beside me while i smoothen out the knots.Time passed and everything changed.But always filled with surprises when you first had your own batch of pups.God were we proud of you... :'') 3 generations and you were still going strong.More amazing is that you even lived pass so many of your own.We were grateful to have you always watching our house for so many years. ^_^98 animal years was as far as you have gone.It might not be long enough for humans,But those years with your faithful companion,I could be no less grateful for having made a difference in my life.I love you, Drama... You'll always be one of my fondest. You will always be the dog who made a young girl's childhood a dream come true.Rest in peace. You are truly missed.*~}i{~*
Posted by
zinrue
It seems that as each year comes to an end,
And Christmas being one of my most favourite festival of the year,I can't help but realise that the idiom, "Wisdom comes with age." has become more and more true. : ) I no longer just feel excited about opening presents, or meeting up with friends...Instead, i look forward more to buying them, wrapping them up really prettily, and imagining the reaction of all their faces when i give it to them. ^_^Hahahaha Really no longer that young, naive child i used to be.I still vividly remember when i was around 8 or 9 years old,I used to go to those church parties, some of which were held in houses. All the excitement and anxiousness would be derived days before, All because i actually only got to go to church once a year. X) This particular memory however has always been one of my fondest.It was a game that could be played by everyone, no age restrictions at all.Everyone around me were strangers, and although it might be hard to believe now,But i was long ago, a shy child once upon a time. :PMy only acquaintance was my aunt who brought me to the party, the others were just strangers to me. We were playing pictogram where we had to draw out the word given to us. ^_^The dude before me got Sandwich but he drew a triangular thing nobody could guess.Next up was me, and i was worried. :S The word i got was Shepard. Now was that a challenge for a 9 year old?? #,#I remember looking back at my aunt, and then smiling.Minutes later, i drew a person which everyone guessed as Man.That wasn't right, so i drew him holding a wooden staff, just like the one Moses had.And instantly, everybody knew!! :D Boy was i happy then!! What made me feel even more special that night was that i believed in myself. I could appeal to people in a peculiar way but not one that is harmful. I even heard my aunt say to her friend that i was really good at expressing myself!! Till today, whenever i feel i wasn't good enough for something,I would ponder back on this memory. I had to somehow believe and remember that God made me the way i am because i am unique and special. There isn't another me in this world that could replace me. ^_^Funny how things like this pops out of my brain during this season round.Heck, must be the Micheal Buble song - Let It Snow that has been replaying for the past half hour. :D Nonetheless, i truly truly feel grateful for everything i have now...Time passed by stagnantly on Christmas day,Me capturing each moment in slow motion, wondering if next year would be the same?I really love my family... No matter how imperfect they are. :"]By then, i hope i'll be seeing the similar view from a webcam miles and miles away instead. But i foresee lots of tears hopefully of happiness or homesickness. XDMay God permit whatevers destined to happen, to happen with grace.I truly, deeply pray.
Merry Christmas one and all!!May you have a meaningful heartfelt one like me!! : ) *~}i{~*
Posted by
zinrue
Having already met you, You may not be just a fantasy. Just awaiting for fate to permit us,We shall meet again in future.Perhaps then, we would both be ready.We would both see that its been worth the wait,Worth every wonder and hope.In the correct time, all would be revealed.In time, all the pain will go away, and new feelings will come.In time, we would both see each other clearly...In time, only happily ever after will be. 
*~}i{~*
Posted by
zinrue
